Mental Pressure

"Aal izz well."

If you have watched the Indian film "3 Idiots (2009)", you've definitely heard of this phrase countless of times. Starring character, Rohan, coined the famous phrase which means: "Everything will be alright." In the following compelling scene below, his friend asked if saying the phrase would solve any problem. Rohan simply answered, "No. But it gives you the courage to face it."

While this movie has many important messages that are so applicable to our society now (and hence I strongly recommend you to watch it), I feel that this phrase holds a lot of depth to it, and I hope to tap onto it now.

I understand that many of us face uncertainties in our lives. If we knew everything that was going to happen, we would have nothing to fear, but that's not Life. I acknowledge that we may face a little bit more difficulties than others because of our hearing loss. However, I would like to emphasise that courage, even just a second, could potentially turn your whole life around.

It is proven that by going out of your comfort zone, you realise things that you never thought you might be capable of.

Here's a story of mine: when I was in my college, I submitted an application on a whim to be part of the school's student committee. I didn't believe I would get past the interview stage anyway because there were so many candidates better than me.

Unexpectedly and to my shock, I had managed to pass the interview stage and it was the selection camp next. When the candidates were briefed on the expectations and effort that we were going to have to put in before, during and after the camp, I was horrified and frightened. I had never done something like that, and I felt that the challenges were going to be insurmountable. I remember walking back home alone and thinking, "How did I get myself into this mess?" I had never once thought of myself to have any leadership qualities and I hated the idea of having to "sell" myself to prove to others to accept me.

At that moment, I hated my whimsical decision to apply without thinking of the consequences. In my desperation, I considered withdrawing so that I would not have to put myself through the whole "facade".

After I conveyed my thoughts and fears to my parents, my father said "Since you've already got through to this late stage, why not just go for it? There's no harm in continuing. Just aim to fail."

Yes, you read it right. AIM TO FAIL.

"Aim to fail" was like an equivalent of "Aal izz well" at that time. It lifted off the mental pressure for me to succeed and also gave me the courage to push through, because well, I'm aiming to fail right?

So I decided that I would just do my best, and even if I failed, I would have technically reached my "goal". Success would just be an additional bonus.

With that attitude, I went for the selection camp. I did not force myself to speak up all the time, and kept telling myself to be who I really am. If they did not select me, it would be fine. I chose to focus on my strengths rather than be someone I am not. And to my surprise, I had passed the selection camp round and eventually became a member of the student committee for the rest of my college's life. It had never been a part of the plan, but I had proven to myself that I was as capable as anyone else.

Stepping out the comfort zone is definitely difficult, but the learning experience is valuable. Hence, I would encourage my readers to try something you've never done before. The unknown may be daunting, but it may bring you to places that you never thought of going there. I think it is better to regret failing it than to not have tried it at all. Of course, it would be best if you actually succeed in it, but my point is that much of the pressure is all in your mind. So, learn to handle the mental pressure well, and you'll go far in life.

My learning point from this experience (and a part of the movie embodies this extremely well) is that: Do not fear failure. Have the courage to follow your decisions through. That can be applicable even to your passion. Definitely easy to say, but difficult to act on it. It takes practice.

However, I have to caution that whimsical decisions don't work for crucial turning points of your life. Be realistic by considering all variable factors. I know this may sound contradictory to my earlier message, but I cannot speak, for example, what your family may be going through at the moment. Hence, for choices that will potentially impact many people around you, including yourself, please be courageous only after you have carefully weighed all the factors, differing opinions, potential consequences and most importantly, your drive to follow it through to the end.

I hope that at the end of the day, you can look back and believe that you had made the right choice. You may think that the grass is always greener on the other side but it is ultimately your choice to make your side of the patch as green as possible.

When in the darkest moments, the phrase "Aal izz well" may serve you well, because saying it many times will hopefully give you the ability to believe in it and prevail through the difficulties. Remember that even the heaviest rain will eventually pass. You can hang in there, and you definitely will have people who care and are looking out for you. Rather than keeping everything to yourself, seek others' help. You can even write an email to me :-)

Sending my thoughts to anyone who may need it at the moment.

xoxo,

Claire