Sound of Metal

Just 3 months ago, my friend invited me to watch this short film with her, called "Sound of Metal". I'll try to keep it as a brief synopsis below.

SPOILER AHEAD: It details the emotional roller coaster of a heavy metal band drummer, Ruben, who slowly lost his hearing. Trying to get control back into his life, he sought the help of an audiologist who gave him the bad news of how much it costs to have a cochlear implant surgery. Desperate to help Ruben, his girlfriend found a shelter headed by a Deaf man and left Ruben there. With the shelter's and school's help, he slowly found comfort in the silent world and picked up signing language. Despite finding himself slowly accepting his hearing loss, he still wanted to be with his girlfriend and continue making the music he loved. He opted to take the CI surgery instead but felt disappointed that the sounds were not quite what he expected. Ruben went off to find his girlfriend, but soon found out that they were better off without each other despite the love they had for each other. The show concluded with him hearing noises of the church bell, and he took off the CI to enjoy the silence.

I think this movie uses sounds so cleverly and creatively, and the majority of the actors were hired from the deaf community, thus portraying an accurate representation of the deaf. When the lead actor took off his cochlear implant in the scenes, there was no music, and the silence could be "heard" throughout the cinema. The show brilliantly tells the anger, the panic, the sense of belonging nowhere, and finally acceptance of losing the hearing, and I guess it reminds me of how people usually say, "you won't get it until you experience it".

I personally feel that if your hearing friends or family members sometimes wonder why you take off the CI (like for me, at home), showing them this show could be a good way to help them understand the peace of silence.

I don't know if a CI sounds completely different from a normal hearing since I've been deaf for as long as I can remember, but I'd like to believe that it is still about 70%-80% there. I believe that a kind and good audiologist is crucial, which Ruben unfortunately didn't get to have. We need more kind people who treats us with respect - write down your words if the D/deaf can't hear or understand you. Ruben's journey to learning sign language is also difficult, and it is indeed a reminder that not all deaf can sign. But it will be great if sign language can slowly be a mandatory language, so that there will be no language barrier between the hearing and the D/deaf. Accessibility should be there in that sense!

CI surgery, CI maintenance, and CI upgrades are expensive, which are just additional obstacles for us on top of all the frustrations we face in our daily lives. In this show, Ruben expressed all his anger throughout the first half, then found ways to "hear" the music he loved so much, and found acceptance that things won't be the same again. Sometimes, it is hard to be optimistic and find the silver linings, and that's okay. We all have different capacities within ourselves, and it does not mean that just because someone has it worse than you, you cannot be upset about it. It's okay to reflect, to feel all the negativity that sometimes comes like the tides ebb and flow, and then pull yourselves up.

Being deaf is something we can't change about ourselves. What we can do, is to advocate awareness about deafness, that respect and kindness is necessary, and that we don't have to be baby-ed. It is already difficult enough to integrate in a society benchmarked on standards of normality rather than inclusion of disability.

I hope to see more progress in the future. But in the meantime, hang on, and do reach out to me anytime if you want someone to talk to.

xoxo,

Claire